Stress

In 25 days, my life as I know it will end. Meaning I will be graduating from University and I will no longer be a full time student. Now I'm just one of the thousands of people searching desparately for a job. I have applied to so many different hospitals that i don't even know exactly what the different hospitals have to offer. I'm just throwing my resume everywhere and have not gotten any bites. Stress is a great companion right now in my life. I still know that God is in control and that someday, I will get a job--I just do not like the feeling that I am graduating without any idea of where I am going and therefore, I must go home.

I have spent the last four years at University to avoid the stressful job seeking. Who knew that when I started, the economy would be at an all time low the very year I graduated. God did. I must find comfort in the fact that God knows what is going to happen and that He will take care of me. That is hard to do right now at this very moment, but most of the time I am content with what will happen. Right now, however, all I want to do is cry and sleep until I can wake up and not feel stressed anymore. I think this heat is making me tired. Please keep me in your prayers as I continue to apply and look for jobs. Thanks!

Job Interviews...and Rejections

Yeah, they happen and I have become to realize, are no fun. The interview itself was a great experience and I knew that the position had many people after it, but I still have the deep feeling of inadequacy. I know in my heart of hearts that I was qualified for the job and who knows why I was not asked to move on in the process, but they liked me enough for an interview and that is a step closer than I have gone before. I now also have some experience in that area. Next time, I will do better.

I also need to remember that God is in control, I need not worry. God was not surprised at the fact that I did not get the job, God has something else in mind for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not sitting around waiting for God to bring something to me--I've been applying to different hospitals like crazy and continue to look at different places to apply. I know that whatever comes of this job search, everything will be okay--life will continue. I need to remember that I am extremely blessed as is and the world will not end if I do not get a job right after graduation. Maybe I'll be working at Starbucks until something comes up. Who knows? God, and God knows my dreams, my passions, my desires and God is not going to cheat me of them. God is not someone who looks down and thinks about all the ways to torture me, ways to make me feel terrible and inadequate. No, God made me with all of my passions, desires, dreams, hopes and with a good reason! The road of trust has been hard, but I have slowly been crawling down it toward God. The more I crawl, the more I realize that God is always with me and helping me through life, the more God helps me to stand and walk beside me. It is such a comfort to know that I am not alone. Ever. I am excited to see what God has in store for me.

Oh me oh my

So today I applied for a job. A real job. A job that becomes a career, not a job that is part-time to get you through college. I applied for a job that I am supposed to have after college. The job that my four years of college has prepared me for. I applied to be a nurse at a local hospital. The thought that I took another step today towards independence is a little scary and exciting. I have been looking forward to applying to this job for a really long time--and there was a huge disappointment upon arrival of this day, but God is good and I put my trust in God that I will be where I'm to be. Now I just want to be done with school to begin my life as a nurse. **Sigh** only 11 more weeks!